What kind of riots will happen if Obama gets beat:
At the thanksgiving dinner young jews will yell at their grandparents who will yell back. An elderly mensch will say, "And did you see it, what a tukas on his wife? It was on the Daily Show.”
They will weep at Whole Foods, in the waiting rooms of BMW repair shops, at the finest fair trade organic coffee bars and other hang outs of rootless yuppie scum.
True progressives will survive and go on to fight the good fight and visit their shrinks more often.
The blame will fall totally on red neck white trash voters and Sarah Palin.
Nobody in East LA will give a damn.
Bah'ney F'wank will yell wac'ism, it was wacism. Always wac'ism.
Nancy Pelosi will give her usual Margaret Dumont shrug and keep the liberal dinner party going with more organic Pinot Gregio.
Hillary will think but not say, "Well, you fools could have nominated me."
Bill Clinton will say, "Yeah, well, you know it's not that ah didn't see it comin' right at 'um, but them know it all Chicago thugs, they wouldn't
listen."
On MSNBC it will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Rachel Meadow will wear a perky red Cindy McCain dress and transform into a lip stick Lesbian. The O man will go back sports. Chris Matthews will tell us his legs were not tingling, really.
Larry King will say, "Oh yeah, McCain, the short one. He won, 'eh?"
Black kids will riot and beat up a few Latino and Asian kids since no white kids actually go to school with them.
Rev. Jesse and Rev. Al will say Obama was just too "white." Sure he could shoot hoops, but you never ever saw him in a do rag.
In the Senate, the Democratic leadership announces they will never confirm Joe the Plumber’s nomination as Secretary of Commerce. Then they will throw Joe Lieberman out of their caucus.
- xxx -
Monday, October 20, 2008
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Who is Bill Ayers? I refer you to Gossip Girl.
Who is Bill Ayers?
Is he a pal or just another guy in Mr. Obama's
neighborhood?
The short answer is he was a real and leading domestic terrorist, of the mad bomber subspecies, in the late 1960's and early 1970's. He was one of the weathermen, a hyper radical infantile Marxist group, who chanted
"Power to the People" (Don't you love it) wore jeans and tie dyed shirts, didn't shave or wash much and burned with political ambition.
Their name came from a Bob Dylan song, the one that says the times they are a changin' and you don't have to a weatherman to see it. (Forgive me but this brings back memories of the sixties: the feel and the smell of marajuana, the goofie certitude, condomless sex, head lice and odd rashes.)
Now the one little kicker to the Weathermen, as opposed to other New Left groups and luntic collectives of those days, was the social position of most of their members. This is where GOSSIP GIRL comes in because most of the Weathermen/women were debutantes and assorted other rich kids. Bill Ayers's Daddy was the Chairman of Board of Con Edison, New York City's power company.
Do you understand that? We are talking Blair Waldorf plus Chuck Bass plus plastique explosives. We are talking upper east side Marxists, like think about that. Debutantes and Molotov Cocktails. Debutantes in jeans and Bergdorf Goodman blouses talking about "offing pigs and racists." It was the sort of leftist operations where people would say things like, "Have we been introduced?" or "Were you in the Hamptons last summer?" Ah, they were so Junesse d'ore.
So there we are, the cast is insufferable queen bee bitch deb's and WASP princesses like Blair Waldorf and selfish spoiled brat rich cad's like Chuck Bass. They planted bombs, but they were not that good really. Not as good as Ted Krysinsky -- UC Berkeley Math Wiz and real mad bomber. They were not as good at as Tim McVey a shanty Mick with USArmy ordinance training.
Beside the buildings and relatively small number of victims of the Weathermen, there is that totemic achievement. They were plotting away in a posh upper east side town house one afternoon, no doubt drinking Veuve Cliquot champaigne and gossiping as they assembled their bombs and I guess one of them crossed the wrong color wires on a detonator. Well,
that was it! KABOOOOOOOOOOOM and they blew the townhouse and half the block to smithereens. They never found much but stray pieces of three debutantes and their Marxist beaux and boyfriends. Power to the People and there was a huge crater in the middle of a very "A" list neighborhood. Anyway, that is the story of Bill Ayers and the Weathermen.
XOXO
Pretend this was read in a wonderfully arch voice by the lovely Kristin Bell.
Is he a pal or just another guy in Mr. Obama's
neighborhood?
The short answer is he was a real and leading domestic terrorist, of the mad bomber subspecies, in the late 1960's and early 1970's. He was one of the weathermen, a hyper radical infantile Marxist group, who chanted
"Power to the People" (Don't you love it) wore jeans and tie dyed shirts, didn't shave or wash much and burned with political ambition.
Their name came from a Bob Dylan song, the one that says the times they are a changin' and you don't have to a weatherman to see it. (Forgive me but this brings back memories of the sixties: the feel and the smell of marajuana, the goofie certitude, condomless sex, head lice and odd rashes.)
Now the one little kicker to the Weathermen, as opposed to other New Left groups and luntic collectives of those days, was the social position of most of their members. This is where GOSSIP GIRL comes in because most of the Weathermen/women were debutantes and assorted other rich kids. Bill Ayers's Daddy was the Chairman of Board of Con Edison, New York City's power company.
Do you understand that? We are talking Blair Waldorf plus Chuck Bass plus plastique explosives. We are talking upper east side Marxists, like think about that. Debutantes and Molotov Cocktails. Debutantes in jeans and Bergdorf Goodman blouses talking about "offing pigs and racists." It was the sort of leftist operations where people would say things like, "Have we been introduced?" or "Were you in the Hamptons last summer?" Ah, they were so Junesse d'ore.
So there we are, the cast is insufferable queen bee bitch deb's and WASP princesses like Blair Waldorf and selfish spoiled brat rich cad's like Chuck Bass. They planted bombs, but they were not that good really. Not as good as Ted Krysinsky -- UC Berkeley Math Wiz and real mad bomber. They were not as good at as Tim McVey a shanty Mick with USArmy ordinance training.
Beside the buildings and relatively small number of victims of the Weathermen, there is that totemic achievement. They were plotting away in a posh upper east side town house one afternoon, no doubt drinking Veuve Cliquot champaigne and gossiping as they assembled their bombs and I guess one of them crossed the wrong color wires on a detonator. Well,
that was it! KABOOOOOOOOOOOM and they blew the townhouse and half the block to smithereens. They never found much but stray pieces of three debutantes and their Marxist beaux and boyfriends. Power to the People and there was a huge crater in the middle of a very "A" list neighborhood. Anyway, that is the story of Bill Ayers and the Weathermen.
XOXO
Pretend this was read in a wonderfully arch voice by the lovely Kristin Bell.
Friday, April 11, 2008
The Obama Breeze
1. Senator Obama’s new billboard campaign in top 40 metro markets:
I’m so over you
HILLARY CLINTON
You are so two faced
HILLARY CLINTON
You really suck
HILLARY CLINTON
You look fat
in those jeans
HILLARY CLINTON
My mother never liked you
HILLARY CLINTON
The voters never
liked you either
HILLARY CLINTON
You’re history
HILLARY CLINTON
Apologies to the writers and staff “I hate You Sarah Marshall”
2. In an attempt to capture the special and intoxicating Obama Breeze, the special and unique emotional fervor of the campaign, I give you a sample of a typical week on the campaign trail for the junior Senator from Illinois.
Senator Obama’s schedule this week:
Monday:
Albuquerque, NM: City Hall Plaza 10:30 am.
He will speak in Spanish & English at the same time.
Tuesday:
Memphis, TN: 1:30 pm, Riverfront Park.
He will feed chicken & biscuits to 5,000 attendees from a single bucket Popeye Family Special.
Wednesday:
New York, NY: 11:00 am.
He will walk across the Hudson from Manhattan to Jersey City.
Thursday:
Washington, Noon.
He will drive the lobbyists from the Capitol.
Friday:
Chicago, Grant Park Fountain, noon.
He will join John the Baptist, Jerry the Methodist and Tony the Catholic for special baptisms.
Saturday:
Evanston, Mt Sinai Temple, 10:00 am.
He will dazzle the congregation with his knowledge of Torah.
Sunday:
Chicago. He will rest and have an early dinner at Arnie Morton’s.
I’m so over you
HILLARY CLINTON
You are so two faced
HILLARY CLINTON
You really suck
HILLARY CLINTON
You look fat
in those jeans
HILLARY CLINTON
My mother never liked you
HILLARY CLINTON
The voters never
liked you either
HILLARY CLINTON
You’re history
HILLARY CLINTON
Apologies to the writers and staff “I hate You Sarah Marshall”
2. In an attempt to capture the special and intoxicating Obama Breeze, the special and unique emotional fervor of the campaign, I give you a sample of a typical week on the campaign trail for the junior Senator from Illinois.
Senator Obama’s schedule this week:
Monday:
Albuquerque, NM: City Hall Plaza 10:30 am.
He will speak in Spanish & English at the same time.
Tuesday:
Memphis, TN: 1:30 pm, Riverfront Park.
He will feed chicken & biscuits to 5,000 attendees from a single bucket Popeye Family Special.
Wednesday:
New York, NY: 11:00 am.
He will walk across the Hudson from Manhattan to Jersey City.
Thursday:
Washington, Noon.
He will drive the lobbyists from the Capitol.
Friday:
Chicago, Grant Park Fountain, noon.
He will join John the Baptist, Jerry the Methodist and Tony the Catholic for special baptisms.
Saturday:
Evanston, Mt Sinai Temple, 10:00 am.
He will dazzle the congregation with his knowledge of Torah.
Sunday:
Chicago. He will rest and have an early dinner at Arnie Morton’s.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Stickers & Even More Stickers
Last year thanks to good planning and blind luck I found my financial condition after tax time more buoyant than usual. Being an idiot as I cleaned up my desk after paying the last bills and filing everything away , I looked at a pile of letters from various good causes, fatal deceases, veterans and military support groups, charities and religious groups. Each of them tugged at my sentiments and most offered me something. The US Olympic Committee and a number of the mainstream nature organizations offered me hats, t-shirts, wind breakers, vests, and sweat shirts if I made a modest donation. All naturally sported a large logo proclaiming me a supporter of the Olympics, The Nature Foundation, The Tree People, Native Plants, the Veterans of Foreign Wars and National Parks Foundation. Being a fool I sent them a few bucks. The deceases and religious groups all sent large sheets of return address stickers, every one of with an uplifting, patriotic, humorous or cute bit of art work.
There were bear cubs, flowers, angels, flags, stars, baby animals of all kinds, seals and sea otter cavorting happily, artistic crosses, chi rho’s, alfa & omega’s, rosary beads, Madonna and child’s, wolves, leaping salmon, friendly primates, cuddly bunnies. On and on and I sent most of them $5 or $10 and felt a warm glow.
Then I guess the word got out and now causes and deceases I never heard of began sending me stickers. Big time and obscure Catholic religious orders sent me holy cards, rosaries, address stickers and prayers printed on special vellum papers. Even various Protestant and a couple Jewish organizations sent me stuff. I am ecumenical, but I really don’t think it would appropriate for me to use an address sticker with a silver menorah on it. Mainly it is stickers, now each and every day some group sends me more stickers.
Right now I have enough to wallpaper a two car garage, who knows by the end of the year I’ll have enough to paper the walls of high school gym. I feel like Mickey Mouse in the Sorcerer's Apprentice. They just keep on coming: more bunnies and bambi’s, angels and cute baby animals, seal pups, bear cubs, kittens and little lions, baby elephants and bull moose, trees and flowers, mystic symbols, patriotic icons, dead presidents and live puppies, it goes on and on.
There were bear cubs, flowers, angels, flags, stars, baby animals of all kinds, seals and sea otter cavorting happily, artistic crosses, chi rho’s, alfa & omega’s, rosary beads, Madonna and child’s, wolves, leaping salmon, friendly primates, cuddly bunnies. On and on and I sent most of them $5 or $10 and felt a warm glow.
Then I guess the word got out and now causes and deceases I never heard of began sending me stickers. Big time and obscure Catholic religious orders sent me holy cards, rosaries, address stickers and prayers printed on special vellum papers. Even various Protestant and a couple Jewish organizations sent me stuff. I am ecumenical, but I really don’t think it would appropriate for me to use an address sticker with a silver menorah on it. Mainly it is stickers, now each and every day some group sends me more stickers.
Right now I have enough to wallpaper a two car garage, who knows by the end of the year I’ll have enough to paper the walls of high school gym. I feel like Mickey Mouse in the Sorcerer's Apprentice. They just keep on coming: more bunnies and bambi’s, angels and cute baby animals, seal pups, bear cubs, kittens and little lions, baby elephants and bull moose, trees and flowers, mystic symbols, patriotic icons, dead presidents and live puppies, it goes on and on.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Politics is like High School
A woman journalist I saw last week whose name I can not remember went on at some length on how the Republican side of the Presidential race reminded her of High School. She said, John McCain was the coolest guy in the school -- not the smartest, best looking or athletic, just the coolest guy.
Thinking about it, I would like to flesh out her brilliant insight.
All American High School
Coolest guy in school:
John McCain, you knew he’d be war hero. A Navy brat who had seen it all at seventeen.
The Richest Kid:
Mitt Romney, the Senior Class President who has the only Porsche in the parking lot and gets his ass kissed by every college recruiter. Never a hair out of place, an assignment late. He natuarlly has a drop dead gorgeous girl friend. Most mere mortals hate him, but only behind his back.
The Head Cheerleader: John Edwards is the only one in school who looks natural in a white cheerleaders sweater. He is the prettiest straight boy on campus and always has a comeback for every circumstance. In spite of this he is not quite cool because he tries too hard.
The Queen Bee with her finger in every pie is Hillary Clinton. She is not the reigning beauty nor the rich social goddess, but she is the tireless hard working and ever so temperamental Editor of the Yearbook and a key officer in every other important student organization. She is the always politically correct pet student of the Principal and most of the faculty. As editor of the yearbook, she controls the collective memory and knows it. She combines the impressive if tiresome qualities of the CW Channel characters Paris Geller in “Gilmore Girls” and Blair Waldorf of “Gossip Girl.”
The Cool Connected Black Kid: Barak Obama is cool smart and black -- the one who gets honor roll grades but is only third string on the basketball team. He is the great wisecracker and talker, Student body VP. He starred as Professor Harold Hill in the Spring Musical, “The Music Man.”
Captain of the Football Team: Fred Thompson, the big smart slow talking hero. He is universally popular and can sit with any table in the cafeteria: the jocks, the cool guys, the black jocks, the smart kids, the nerds all like to be seen with him and even the goths don’t dislike him.
The front man on Christian Rock Band: Governor Huckabee is the active Christian kid, good grades and the best guitar player in the Senior class, popular and as close to being cool as a working class Baptist could be.
The President of the Science Club: Congressman Dennis Kusinich is the leading nerd and vegetarian. While a bit of a geek, he has a knack for dating cute girls.
The real smart kid: Rudy Giuliani is the smart Italian kid, smart cool and a go getter. He is Student body Treasurer and the Chairman of the Senior Ball. He is the school Mr. Fix It and has connections all over. He is the male counter part of the queen bee and like her is respected and feared by most other kids. Almost everybody in school owes him something.
The rich Latino Kid: Governor Richardson is the cool, slightly pudgy Latino kid whose dad owns a couple Mexican restaurants a tortilla factor. He is the school's first Chicano Preppie and is able stay in both groups. He has the second most expensive sports car in the parking lot. The only ethnic kid on the golf team, he is on the all the dance and social committees and got an early acceptance to Stanford.
The head Goth: Congressman Ron Paul is the super smart and insufferable alpha male Goth.
Second string football players: Senators Biden and Dodd, sort of cool, sort of popular but as linemen they know they can never be the real alpha male top guy.
Please add or amend this as you see fit.
Thinking about it, I would like to flesh out her brilliant insight.
All American High School
Coolest guy in school:
John McCain, you knew he’d be war hero. A Navy brat who had seen it all at seventeen.
The Richest Kid:
Mitt Romney, the Senior Class President who has the only Porsche in the parking lot and gets his ass kissed by every college recruiter. Never a hair out of place, an assignment late. He natuarlly has a drop dead gorgeous girl friend. Most mere mortals hate him, but only behind his back.
The Head Cheerleader: John Edwards is the only one in school who looks natural in a white cheerleaders sweater. He is the prettiest straight boy on campus and always has a comeback for every circumstance. In spite of this he is not quite cool because he tries too hard.
The Queen Bee with her finger in every pie is Hillary Clinton. She is not the reigning beauty nor the rich social goddess, but she is the tireless hard working and ever so temperamental Editor of the Yearbook and a key officer in every other important student organization. She is the always politically correct pet student of the Principal and most of the faculty. As editor of the yearbook, she controls the collective memory and knows it. She combines the impressive if tiresome qualities of the CW Channel characters Paris Geller in “Gilmore Girls” and Blair Waldorf of “Gossip Girl.”
The Cool Connected Black Kid: Barak Obama is cool smart and black -- the one who gets honor roll grades but is only third string on the basketball team. He is the great wisecracker and talker, Student body VP. He starred as Professor Harold Hill in the Spring Musical, “The Music Man.”
Captain of the Football Team: Fred Thompson, the big smart slow talking hero. He is universally popular and can sit with any table in the cafeteria: the jocks, the cool guys, the black jocks, the smart kids, the nerds all like to be seen with him and even the goths don’t dislike him.
The front man on Christian Rock Band: Governor Huckabee is the active Christian kid, good grades and the best guitar player in the Senior class, popular and as close to being cool as a working class Baptist could be.
The President of the Science Club: Congressman Dennis Kusinich is the leading nerd and vegetarian. While a bit of a geek, he has a knack for dating cute girls.
The real smart kid: Rudy Giuliani is the smart Italian kid, smart cool and a go getter. He is Student body Treasurer and the Chairman of the Senior Ball. He is the school Mr. Fix It and has connections all over. He is the male counter part of the queen bee and like her is respected and feared by most other kids. Almost everybody in school owes him something.
The rich Latino Kid: Governor Richardson is the cool, slightly pudgy Latino kid whose dad owns a couple Mexican restaurants a tortilla factor. He is the school's first Chicano Preppie and is able stay in both groups. He has the second most expensive sports car in the parking lot. The only ethnic kid on the golf team, he is on the all the dance and social committees and got an early acceptance to Stanford.
The head Goth: Congressman Ron Paul is the super smart and insufferable alpha male Goth.
Second string football players: Senators Biden and Dodd, sort of cool, sort of popular but as linemen they know they can never be the real alpha male top guy.
Please add or amend this as you see fit.
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