Three kinds of Democrats

Looking across the political spectrum you have Democrats, you have Liberal Democrats and then you have the Moonbats. Regular plain no hyphens Democrats have feet that touch the ground, a strong grip on common sense and usually a sharp if somewhat cynical sense of humor. They usually drive American cars, some even drive pick up trucks. They often talk with a regional accent and even hint at blue collar or country heritage, they don’t blush or feel queasy when they say the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag or observe common and accepted patriotic rites and gestures. Real Democrats think Republicans are tight wads who begrudge the poor a minimal level of social services but are not hopeless, just inhibited by their party’s terminal stuffiness. Real Democrats love a good fight, in fact feel uncomfortable if things get too lovie dovie, because they know in their hearts the Liberals and Republicans are cunning upper middle class smoothies who are always willing to go bipartisan if it screws the working class.

Liberal Democrats read the New Republic and other slick paper up scale publications Vanity Fair and hip life style and how to magazines, they like you to think they can speak at least one foreign language, dress with a touch of old money style or what they think is old money style combined with a bit of hipster chic and they are never at a loss for fluent cocktail party chat. They never own an American car but they are up on current food fads, food no-no’s and know when certain things are hot and when they are not. While they can always come up with politically correct reasons to look down on blue collar, Southern and rural folks, they are helpless before minority ethnic firebrands and almost always get rolled even when they know better.

A Liberal Democrat will do everything possible to push up Black and Latino college enrollment percentages while at the same time be coldly ruthless in squashing the percentage of Asian heritage students. Only a liberal could tell Asians they have been demoted to White and do so with a straight face. A Liberal Democrat will also ignore bad news, like the very high drop out rate of minority kids who are enrolled without the academic background to keep them enrolled. The single worst moral flaw common to Liberals is their willingness to let good intentions trump good results. The other thing Liberals do is run the word “unconscionable” into the ground. Nobody to their right or left ever uses the word. It is their word and theirs alone.

When push comes to shove in foreign policy Liberals will spot dictators and terrorists one chance to roll them. That is how they demonstrate their diplomatic skills. The next time the bad guys try to roll them, they will bomb the bastards, even send in the Marines. Bill Clinton actually bombed more countries in his eight years than George W. Bush. Liberals will always come up with a “multilateral” strategy that will leave the the heavy lifting to the American Military with token assistance from a small number of nations and the advice of those who are unable to do anything but talk. The deepest and darkest fear of older Liberal Democrats is that somebody will look back and discover the Vietnam War actually was their idea.

What makes me real nervous today is that President Obama has rediscovered and brought us the old liberal dream of government by our “Best and brightest.” He can be forgiven because he was an infant during the Kennedy and Johnson years. That time, the best and brightest fucked up big time and then denied they had anything to do with it. Right now the Harvard and Goldman Sachs alumni in his government seem to be doing the same thing to the American economy and maybe militarily in Afghanistan too. I’ve seen this movie before, it ends in tears.

Now we come to the Moonbats. These are people whose feet don’t touch the ground. Their Burkenstocks, Ugh’s and sandals might, but they don’t. Facts, reality, common sense and rationality have no measurable effect on them, ever. Where real Democrats view Republicans as tight wads and Rotary Club stalwarts while Liberal Democrats look on them as tiresome but energetic “C” students, even if they attended a prestigious college or didn’t sit in the back row snickering, mocking or peppering the good students with catcalls and spitballs. Moonbats see Republicans as criminals at best, by definition both ignorant and stupid, if not demented. In the worst case they view Republicans as a species of hateful and dangerous sub human primates that should be exterminated.

To be fair it should be added that Moonbats consider ordinary Democrats as little better than Republicans. If you doubt this, just try to imagine a Berkeley Moonbat trying to talk with a Teamsters Business Agent. Liberals Democrats are almost the very worst possible thing to Moonbats since they could and did vote for Bill Clinton and then compound it by voting for Hillary. The Moonbats not only want to jail George W. Bush for the Iraq War and not singing Kumbaiya with Osama Bin Lauden, they would put every single so called liberal Democrat that voted for the war in the cell next to him.

The pure and ardent Moonbats fit the bemused description George Orwell wrote in the 1940’s about the far left fringes of Britain’s Labour Party -- they burn with odd enthusiasms, they dress in awkward and often impractical clothes, they advocate a wide range of distinctly minority opinions, they are often eccentric in their dietary preferences and frequently have highly unorthodox religious views. They combine a highly demanding set of ethics on almost everything except sexual behavior with the aggressive moral imperatives and heresy suppressing zeal of a Counter Reformation Dominican Friar freshly arrived in town with a wagonful of seasoned firewood and a list of suspects.

Real Democrats sit down to a steak at Peter Luger’s without the slightest moral scruple. They also gobble up bratwursts at a NFL tailgate party and drink name brand beer without shame. A Liberal Democrat can eat sushi and allowing for a few moral hiccups, a Liberal Democrat could even go so far as to eat veal. Goose liver or Fois Gas, in its common French name, would never ever pass their lips unless Anthony Bourdaine was present and ready to denounce them as philistine idiots if they didn’t eat it. While a few might eat free range organic meat and get away with it, most true Moonbats pose as or claim to be vegans or vegetarians. Many of them go far beyond those two diets. adding to them every sort of marginal food fetish. They attribute many good things to various rare fruits or vegetables, they believe in the near miraculous power of rare and exotic tinctures and extracts, they of course have not a shred of scientific proof for any of this, but Moonbats still passionately believe it anyway, especially if it rooted in the most distant third world folklore. The one trouble with these bean, grain and greens diets is the unfortunate side effect of considerable if not heroic flatulence. In the human gastrointestinal system the typical vegan diet produces enough methane gas to power a small car. Raw grains, organic heirloom beans and Brussels Sprouts as a steady diet could create enough natural methane gas inflate a Goodyear blimp.